Could You Be Happy If You'd Wish?

Is it possible to keep oneself happy all the time?
Yes, if you would depend on yourself only.
No, because you never depend on yourself only...

When you come home and see your bird soaked in sorrow and drenched in apathy, while her eyes look at you, but don't see you penetrating your image by the heavy grief of her dazzling eyes, you feel like an empty place with your stupid smile evaporating in air and your silly playing eyes X-rayed by stronger pair of eyes and infected by them...

When you try to piece together few lines in your work-absorbed sporadic mind to recite an ode for her to inspire her for a beatiful song and instead you see the sorrow melting and pouring down from her crystal eyes pushed by the power of a loud heart-breaking Requiem, you forget the purpose of odes altogether...

When she leaves you with your annoying laptop resting on your aching laps and flies back to her cage to rest (from sorrow), you feel like nothing else but following her, confining yourself in her cage and sharing her sorrow and getting more and more infected and feeling the suffocating power of her grief with no words. As if body language does not mean any motion to be heard or read by the one beside. As if body breathing is a way of talking to each other and exchanging the feelings between each other too. The strongest feeling of the bodies will prevail. In this case the bird's body breathes stronger and makes you breathe slower and feel nerdy, not able to prove your reason to keep happy...

To see the light at the end of the tunnel, I need to find the tunnel first. It seems I can see it already... I gotta take my bird with me to see it together!