Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Is It Over Again?

I’m hearing tearful voices over the phone and seeing happy faces at times these days. But the shock is overwhelming indeed. They cannot believe what’s happening now. Tens of thousands of dollars are being neglected by a proud guy and that guy is me.

Behaviors have changed in order to sweeten the bitterness of our short co-existance. I’m receiving plentiful of messages of friendship from my “regretful” foes: “please re-visit your decision and be patient a bit more… Everything is going to change”.

The management is keen to see me and is offering me new job opportunities, paving my way to climb up the dig they’d dug for me before.

How can I translate my present feeling of annoyance to them? Tajik Service and a service to Tajik people were only causes I joined them in Prague. I saw something I could never imagine before and I’m happy I did it.

Now it’s time to pick up my stuff and sing a farewell song: “Vaqteshe, vaqteshe, raftan vaqteshe, Vaqteshe, az to gozashtan vaqteshe.” They have never witnessed a similar scene of having enough of their crap and leaving, just leaving without being kicked out. Just leaving, because they seem too miserable and intolerable. Just because the meaning of their lives have turned green as on dollar banknotes. Just because human nature has encountered a real catastrophe among this bunch of beings. Just because you want to have some fresh air in your lungs you’ve been waiting for ages… By the way, my lungs are cleaner now, free of fag pollution deep inside.

Yeah, I quit smoking just now, when I really need some pollution deep inside to make me feel dirty and momentarily joyful for a while… But I got some faces to bear in my mind and heart: Massi the Just, Taher the Sufferer, Rasul the Beginner, Salim the Doubtful, Saidqasem the Worried. I love all of them and will remain with them as long as my lungs are still functioning. I started spitting blood lately though and don’t think I possess a couple of healthy lungs anymore.

Anyway, another chapter is over. Another fight is fought. Another laughter is laughed. Another tear is dropped. Another page is turned and it’s me again with my beloved ones heading to a new destination. At the end of the day, that planet in the picture belongs to us. Let's explore it!


Shamsi said...

(Н. Добронравов)

Светит незнакомая звезда.
Снова мы оторваны от дома.
Снова между нами города,
Взлётные огни аэродромов…

Здесь у нас туманы и дожди.
Здесь у нас холодные рассветы.
Здесь на неизведанном пути
Ждут замысловатые сюжеты…

Надежда — мой компас земной,
А удача — награда за смелость.
А песни… Довольно одной,
Чтоб только о доме в ней пелось.

Ты поверь, что здесь, издалека,
Многое теряется из виду, —
Тают грозовые облака,
Кажутся нелепыми обиды.

Надо только выучиться ждать,
Надо быть спокойным и упрямым,
Чтоб порой от жизни получать
Радости скупые телеграммы…

Надежда — мой компас земной,
А удача — награда за смелость.
А песни… Довольно одной,
Чтоб только о доме в ней пелось.

И забыть по-прежнему нельзя
Всё, что мы когда-то не допели,
Милые усталые глаза,
Синие московские метели…

Снова между нами города.
Жизнь нас разлучает, как и прежде.
В небе незнакомая звезда
Светит, словно памятник надежде.

Надежда — мой компас земной,
А удача — награда за смелость.
А песни… Довольно одной,
Чтоб только о доме в ней пелось.

Darius said...

This lovely poem sung by Muqaddas the Immortal was played in my last Culture & Thought the day before yesterday: